My prison

The worst thing about having poison ivy is that I don't feel like I can hug people or hold babies. It's so hard, I didn't realize how touchy/feely I am, and there have been times I want to reach out and hug someone, and then I hold it back, and it hurts on the inside. (sigh) Someday I will no longer have it and will be "unshackled" by this terrible condition. In the meantime, I will stay in my prison of agony.

Poison ivy or sumac

So I Am Changed
by Sibelan Forrester

Now that I am an initiate
I see it everywhere, the glossy
triangular eyes of its young
leer at me from every garden
and roadside in recognition.

All these years I didn't know
what might be out there to get me,
but now wherever I walk I keep
an eye out for that glossy leaf
and tendril, lurking at the edge
of the lawn, the soft touch
and proof of my angry imperfection.

I somehow got poison ivy or sumac about 10 days ago and am still breaking out and miserable. It feels as though I will always be "marked" and my body will always have these red blotches to prove it. I hope they go away and do not scar. I am so itchy, so tired of looking splotchy, it's embarrassing. Can I just say that I hate poison ivy?...

Lord, liar or lunatic?

I am reading an interesting book in my classroom while they do their handwriting. It is called More Than a Carpenter by Josh McDowell. So far, it is really good. He poses the question, "Who do you say that Jesus is?" Today we read how either Jesus IS Lord/God, or He is either a lunatic or a liar. Lord, liar or lunatic. If He is a liar, claiming to be God and claiming that He is the only way to God, and if He wasn't really, then he would not just be a liar, but he would be very evil. Scratch that off the list. If He states that He is Lord, but really isn't, He would at least be a lunatic. Of all the statements He made about Himself, he would definitely look like a crazy man if those statements were not true. Many people call Him a moral man, good teacher, etc. Could a lunatic be a great teacher? How about people that have had their lives changed by His teaching? Sorry, but He is NOT a lunatic. He either is what He says He is, or He is not. Guess that leaves Lord.

Yes, I believe He is Lord and God. I believe that He is the only way to God. I believe that He saves lives, changes us, wants us to know Him in a real, relational way. I believe that He is coming back someday, and I want Him to always be pleased with me. This is the Jesus that I know. He is amazing!

Encouragement

I asked God one time, "What can I possibly do to walk in my 'calling'? I don't know how I can make a difference in people's lives." God, speaking through a minister, told me that one thing I can do is write encouraging notes to people. I began doing that every once in a while, and it seemed to really mean a lot to people. I didn't do it very frequently, however, and once more I asked God what I could do. He reminded me about writing encouraging notes, and I decided to try to write at least one per week to someone that He would give me words for. It was a great year when I did that. I usually had more than one per week, and although not everyone came back and thanked me, it was just good knowing I was obeying God. I stopped doing it for awhile, but I am ready to get back to it. You know, when you know that you can help in ANY way for the kingdom of God to expand, whether it's cleaning the church, mowing the lawn for someone, working in the nursery, etc. it is good to just go ahead and walk in those ways. He blesses you in the process especially when you do it with joy. I love to be an encourager. I hope more people become aware of ways that they can encourage others. For me, it's not about that person thanking me, it's about knowing that God gave me those words to say to them, and it must be His timing for them to hear them. Also, when you have something encouraging written down for you, it's nice to go back to it in the hard times.

Friendships

I was trying to look up "friendship poems" on the internet, but I couldn't find any fitting for what I am feeling, or they were just very cheesy. I am very thankful for the godly friendships that I have. I am so glad that I have friends that will keep me on the right track, love me unconditionally, and help me when I need it. I love serving God alongside such wonderful people. I feel extremely blessed each and every day. I know not everyone in this world feels this way, and it makes me sad for them. I think of some of the friendships I have had in the past that had no real purpose and on the surface seemed fantastic but really left me with nothing once we were no longer together. How we never really got to a deep, committed relationship because it was not built on anything but flesh (what can you do for me?) instead of building it on Christ, who is our solid rock. I have friendships now where even if we have been apart for a short or long time, we can pick right back up because we are serving Jesus together, and we can have a deep, meaningful relationship because of that. I thank God for this creation of "friendship", that He created us with a desire for relationships.

God's promises

Last night the kids and I did our devotions, and we have been discussing how God keeps all of His promises. After we finished our reading and talking, the kids made "promise boxes". They ended up being so cute and inventive, even Sammy enjoyed it, which he doesn't usually get too into the "craft" thing. I gave them small boxes with lids (size like what checks come in), and I wrapped the lids separate from the box having the wrong side of the wrapping paper showing so they would have the whole box white. They then decorated to their heart's content with stickers and wrote whatever they wanted on them (my promise box, etc.). On pieces of paper they wrote out God's promises to them and placed them inside the box. I told them whenever they feel down or need encouragement to open their box and read God's promises to them. God always keeps His promises. Thank you, God!

Headaches

I really hate headaches. I have battled with headaches for nine years. I have had years where I had anywhere from a bad headache up to a migraine almost daily. I am not living that way anymore, however, when I get a headache, it's pretty bad. Lately I have been getting more. I have been prayed over numerous times, and sometimes wonder if God is using this as my "thorn in my flesh" or if I just don't have enough faith to be healed. I am on medication to try to keep from having them, but I would love to just be healed and finished with it. I would love to be able to get hot from summer weather or from exercising without getting a migraine. I would love to not get tension in my neck and shoulders which works its way up to my head. I have learned how to praise God in the midst of the pain, however. Maybe that is the lesson I am to learn.