I am sad

As far back as my mind will reach, I remember going to Granny and Grandad's home just about every week. Sometimes just to visit with them, sometimes to celebrate an occasion, always on Christmas Day to exchange gifts. Their home has been filled with many laughs, tears, worry and joy.

They had a tradition with my sister and me that if it was my birthday, she would also receive one small gift and vice versa. My parents have continued that tradition with my three. It takes the "jealousy" factor out of birthdays ("How come she gets all the gifts, and I don't?"). Also on our birthdays, they would take the whole family to the restaurant of our choice.

On Christmas Day, we would have lunch, open gifts, and drive out to Candy Cane Lane to see the lights. Granny also always fixed Christmas Dixie cups full of Christmas candy for the kids. YUM. If we got married, we no longer received the candy cups. :( haha

After Dennis proposed, that was the first place we went to proclaim our news.

Lots of memories.

My Granny died a year and a half ago. It was very different to go to the house after that, but still great to spend time with Grandad. Grandad's health has declined in the last year, and last winter, he broke his hip and hasn't been home since. Nor will he. He is in a nursing home now, and will always need care. Even though he hasn't been home for several months, I guess the hope has always been in me that he would return.

My Grandparents have many nice neighbors. The family to the east of them used to own a restaurant there in Coffeyville, and their son is buying my Grandparents' home. I went last week to pick up some items from the house before it is no longer Grandad's. I have to say this makes me very sad. I know Grandad is fine with this idea, but it makes me feel weird taking things that are still "theirs" when he is still here with us. I kind of knew it was coming, but kind of hoped it wouldn't.

I am not ready to live without any grandparents. I'm not. Especially my Grandad. He and I have always been close. I don't like this.

Things I remember: childhood

Here are some things I remember about growing up in my small Kansas hometown. It's not a comprehensive list, it's just things that I remember very well.

• My little house on Wood Street (2 bedrooms, 1 bath)
• Remodeling our little house into a 3 bedroom, 1 1/2 bath
• Sweeping up the saw dust during the remodel: how it smelled, how the men were surprised the next day to see it cleaner
• Playing on my swing set and singing while swinging
• Playing with my sister and best friend outside: making mud pies, playing whiffle ball, playing in the snow and acting like it was a blizzard and we were Laura, Mary and Carrie Ingalls getting lost in the blizzard
• Being a member of the "congregation" as my sister preached to me from her "pulpit", which was my baby doll suitcase
• Being a cheerleader for my sister, the football player
• My dog, Snuggles (1/2 poodle, 1/2 schnauzer), whom I had from ages 2-15
• How Snuggles became blind and deaf the older she got
• All of my grade school teachers
• How our lunch ladies made the BEST hot rolls I've ever had
• The taste of our lunchroom pizza
• How nervous I would get about the first day of school
• How much I LOVED school
• How much I loved fried chicken
• How everyone knew your name in our small town
• How, even as a young child, my best friend and I could walk uptown by ourselves and have nothing to worry about (and neither did our parents)
• The sound of the wooden floors in our "dime" store and the smell of that store
• Looking at Smurf figurines at the Pharmacy, saving up money to collect as many as I could
• Spending the night at friends' houses; laughing a lot
• Going to our school carnival every year and coming home with "useless" treasures
• Playing "school" in my bedroom
• Playing "secretary" in my bedroom
• Thinking your small home is big
• Thinking your school is gigantic!
• Getting lost in TG&Y
• Eating at Pizza Hut with my family every Saturday before buying groceries
• Eating at Long John Silvers when we were tired of Pizza Hut
• Looking at Christmas lights every year with Granny, Grandad, mom and dad, especially Candy Cane Lane
• Going to the mall in Bartlesville, OK a lot and going to the mall in Tulsa, OK every year for new school clothes
  
• The sights and sounds of my hometown church
• The sights and sounds of my hometown library
• The feel of my grandparents' hugs
• Sitting on my mom's lap and listening to her heartbeat as she would read to me
• Getting new Easter dresses every year
• Helping decorate for Christmas every year
• Melting tinsel on the old fashioned large bulbs that got HOT!
• Buying new record albums and memorizing them ALL after listening to them through twice
• The sights and sounds of our city pool
• Going skating with our third grade class for the "end of the year" party
• The sound of my best friend, Cari's, voice
• The sound of Cari's mom's voice
• Skating on Cari's neighbor's driveway listening to "Footloose"
• Playing in the building behind our home, which at one time was an apartment, but we used it for storage and called it "The Little House"
• The smell of dad using a charcoal grill on Saturday nights in the summer on our patio
  
• Always feeling like I was older than I was
• Listening to Elvis records and belting the song out along with him
• Moving on to Barbara Mandrell and then Olivia Newton-John
• Loving to play with baby dolls and wearing as much jewelry as I could
• Trying to learn to ride a bike without training wheels and getting mad at the bike
• Watching my sister wreck her 3-speed bike on gravel and running home to tell mom and dad
• Being so happy to receive "Underoos" for Christmas
• Hating the physical fitness tests that we had to do every year at school
• Getting car sick any time we traveled
• Going to my Aunt and Uncle's after school
• Riding in my Aunt's station wagon with all of my cousins singing songs
• Going to the State Fair with my Aunt, Uncle and cousins
• Going trick-or-treating to houses of people we knew
• Playing board games all summer with my sister, some of them lasting for days
• Watching the Wizard of Oz once a year and being scared every time by the Wicked Witch
• Missing my teachers when we would be on break (I know, sick, aren't I? haha)
• Vacationing in Branson a LOT; once with my Granny and Grandad
• The smell of the asphalt in the summer at Silver Dollar City
• Listening to my mom hum or sing softly in the car
• Spraining my ankle at school during P.E. and spraining the other one on my way home from Cari's
• Watching smoke billow out from our grade school when it was set on fire
• All the kids squished inside the gymnasium or music room for classes after the fire
• The feeling enjoyment while playing on the scooters
• Getting scared when an old car with strange looking men stopped and one of the men started getting out while we were playing whiffle ball outside
• Pulling apart hundreds of rollie-polies
• Pulling apart a bee and getting the stinger in my thumb (I didn't know it could hurt me, I just thought it was pretty.)
• Falling asleep on my teeter-totter
• Learning to crochet
• Learning what "long distance" is the hard way :(
• Always playing "mommy"
• Admiring my neighbors beautiful maple trees in the fall
• Having school parties, especially Valentine's Day
• Eating hamloaf at Granny and Grandad's for Easter
• Eating mom's chili and my Aunt's potato soup on Christmas Eve at Grandad's
• Spending Christmas Day at Granny and Grandad's
• Going to the capitol building in 5th grade because I won a report-writing contest
  
• Listening to Grandad's stories
• Getting my tonsils out
• Swinging on the swingset at school and jumping off at the highest point
• Moving to Pittsburg for my 6th grade year
• Hating living in Pittsburg
• Moving back to hometown in 7th grade
• Sleeping in my sister's room when it was hot so we could share a fan
• Sunday School each Sunday
• Being in "Sword Drills"; practicing, competing and going to Salina for State Competition
• Going to Glorieta, NM to watch my friend compete in the nationals for sword drills
• Going to Arkansas for a family reunion
• Wondering which teacher I would have next year; excited for mom to come home and tell me after she pre-enrolled us
• Watching "Hee Haw" on Saturday nights
• Lining up "boy, girl, boy girl" or "BGBGBG" as one teacher called it
• My dad teaching me to wrap gifts; mom making me the official "gift wrapper" of the family (except my gifts)
• My Mickey Mouse night light, which I had a nightmare about one time while I was sick with fever
• My Crayola Caddy and hours I would spend using it
  
• Coloring with my sister
• Making my sister come home and play school with me when I was too young to go so I could know everything she learned
• April 1, 1979--Asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior
• My baptism--being scared I would drown and saying, "I want my daddy!"
• Being in children's choir at church: doing plays, singing, doing puppet shows, etc.
• Getting my Barbie kitchen from Granny and Grandad
• Getting a large double-sided chalkboard to play school from mom and dad
• Playing Pacman and Ms. Pacman at my friend's house
• Going to church camp "Virgil" which I did not like
• I liked going to the car wash with Dad because he would buy me a bottle (glass bottle) of Crush soda (orange, grape, strawberry)
• Getting mad at my sister when we played "Aggravation"
  
• Having a GREAT childhood