Testimony: Part 1

I was raised in a Southern Baptist church in a small town in Southeast Kansas. I have never lived my life apart from a local church. Whenever the doors were open, we were there. My Dad was the song leader for many of my growing-up years. We had several families that came, and quite a few children. However, as I got older, more and more families left for various reasons, but for whatever reasons, the relationships were breaking down and not being fixed. By the time my sister went off to college, I was the only one in the youth group. It is very hard to press in to know God more and to want to do His will when nobody your age is, and the relationships in your church are not very strong. My church had no vision for legacy. The legacy left, and all that remained were a handful of older people staying together out of tradition and a longing for the “good old days”. The Bible says, “Without a vision, the people parish” Proverbs 29:18. Fortunately, today, that church has a new minister who has birthed a new vision, and some of the people who had left when I was a child are coming back, and so are some of their kids and grandkids. However, I dare say they are not out of danger if the things that they are building upon are not what Christ desires for a local church to built upon: relationships with Him and each other and a vision for legacy.

After I married, we found church after church with the same dilemma: mostly older people, mostly women, few children, and fewer still young people that DESIRED to be there. The little children came with their parents, and most of the older kids came because their parents made them come, even if they were kicking and screaming. They are the youth that sit in the back, arms crossed across their chests, rebellious to any authority, coming to church hoping to find a boyfriend/girlfriend to at least justify “wasting time” there. Even sadder is the fact that people think of them as good church kids just because they fill a pew! Do we really just want bodies to fill space, or are we building a church that would fulfill the purposes of Christ on the earth? After punching our religious timeclock for a few years, Dennis and I came to a point in our lives where we felt spiritually dead. We were longing for relationships, only to find none; we were longing to find a place where God was alive and moving. We kept saying, “There’s got to be more!”
There are two reasons people leave a church: 1) out of purpose 2) out of perversion. If you are leaving for any reason other than finding the purpose of God for your life, then you are leaving for the wrong reason. If you leave because you had a fight with someone, or you just don’t like someone there, or you are not happy with how “they” spent your money, etc., then you are leaving with unresolved sin issues that will follow you to the next church you decide to call home.
After much prayer and desperation, Dennis and I knew we had to find where God was actively moving and where we could begin to have a family. We knew that we did not want to start having babies before finding a place where they could grow up knowing, loving and serving God, not just knowing about God and being religious church kids.
There is a big difference between knowing God and knowing about God. You can gain all the academic knowledge you can about God, be able to recite the Bible forwards and backwards, and yet not have a clue what God’s thoughts and ways are about. How does one know God that way? The same way you know your best friend inside and out. You spend time with Him, talk to Him, be open to Him, share everything about who you are and what you think with Him. It’s called being transparent. When I live an open, transparent life, I’m laying everything out on the table for someone to see. Not just the good, fluffy stuff, but my bad side, too. And we ALL have a good AND a bad side.
We were all born sinners. But just because I have a good side doesn’t make me saved. I’m still a sinner. What makes me saved is the fact that I have acknowledged that Jesus died on the cross for my sins, and because of His blood, I can boldly come before the God of the universe and ask for His forgiveness and let Him be Lord of my life. You see, before Jesus came, people had to sacrifice animals in order to have forgiveness of sins. You see it in the Old Testament and in historical Jewish documents. Sacrifices were made at different times throughout the year in order to cleanse the people of their sins. The animals had to be without blemish, spotless. They had to be pure. No human is pure, so they used the blood of animals. However, history changed when Jesus came into the picture. He was the only perfect human; both absolutely human and absolutely God. The Bible talks about Jesus praying the night before his death for God to take the cup away from him, unless that was what God’s will or purpose had to be. The cup he is referring to is the cup that holds all of man’s sins (yours and mine). He looked into that cup, saw all of the corruption, deceitfulness, lies, lust, sexual immorality, idolatry, murder, and bitterness that we had committed and chose to drink it. He chose to put all of those sins, both present and future, upon himself, even though he was sinless, in order to be the living sacrifice for us so that we would have a way to come before God covered by his pure blood. Before Jesus, only the high priests saw God. They were allowed into the Holy of Holies, a room where God’s presence dwelt, only once a year, and if they were not cleansed and holy, they would die in the presence of God. Once Jesus died for us, the veil between the Holy of Holies and the rest of the tabernacle was split wide open. Jesus made a way for God’s presence to be among us and for us not to die when He is with us. When the reality of that hits us, and we become keenly aware that we have not been in God’s presence in such a way that it has changed us, then we are living as if we know Him, but in reality we only know about Him.